Tuesday, March 5, 2013

The worst phone call a parent can receive...

and I was on the receiving end of it 18 years ago today.

Eighteen years ago on a Sunday morning a drunk driver hit the Marine in a head on collision.  Two women, one just broken up with a boyfriend,  had a pity party which lasted all night on into Sunday morning and our Marine and our lives were changed forever.

Just when I started writing about the experience, several years ago on my former blog, Gabby Giffords was shot and suffered a brain injury.  In my opinion because she was in Congress she received the best doctors, the best medical care and the best rehab that our tax dollars could buy.  I  was told to find an institute for comatose patients and forget I had a son.

Someday I may write the Marines story again.  People need to know just how the military treat some people.  People need to know how some parents beg for help and it's not there.

I try very hard not to be be bitter as the Marine does not know that anything is wrong with him although he cannot do nothing more than lift a few fingers on his right hand and lift his right foot off of the bed an inch or two.  Although his speech is very slow and slurred and sometimes very difficult to understand.  He will tell me he loves me...always adding he loves me two feet more.   The Marine when he stood always towered at least a foot over me.

and almost always he has a big smile.  Even though his mouth is drawing and medications have ruined his teeth....he can smile.  He will tell you everyday if you ask ......HE THANKS GOD HE IS STILL ALIVE.....and so do I.

26 comments:

  1. Mamma Bear,

    I love this picture you posted of your Sweet Marine. He's got a beautiful smile.

    People who drink need to understand they can't get into a weapon (vehicle) and drive. When a person drinks the alcohol affects a persons ability to make proper decisions, and have the ability to react in situations.

    It just totally pisses me off (excuse my language) when doctors tell family to find a institution to place your child, and forget you've had this child.

    Doctors need to realize these are our children, they must have all the medical care available to them along with having their families at their side. I bet it would have been a different story if the shoe was on the other foot, and it was that doctors child involved.

    I'm so sorry this happened to the Marine, and your family, it just breaks my heart. Have you considered contacting DAV for help to get the medical assistance the Marine may need?

    Give the Marine a hug from and Oklahoma Mom, and I send a hug to you (((((Mama Bear))))).
    God Bless, Your Friend,
    Sandy

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    1. Sandy..thank you for your kind words. The Marine does get medical assistance from the VA and any equipment needed for him is provided. It is so important for a brain injured person to get really aggressive therapy as soon as possible. I was told the Marine was not a candidate for rehab. I watched the news everyday about Giffords and the therapy she received right from the start. I pushed so much trying to get the Marine help he was finally sent to a VA hospital in Tampa 10 months after the wreck. He almost died there and as soon as he was stable enough I loaded him back up in his van and brought him home. It is a very long story.

      Thanks for the hugs...We needed them today!

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  2. Oh Mama Bear, {{{{{HUGS}}}}}. This story is so sad but sweet. I'm so sorry this ever happened to your son and your family :( Your a very strong woman and a wonderful loving mother ♥

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    1. Thank you for the hugs Kelly..I am no one special..just a Mamma Bear protecting her cub. The Marine is our hero...He has taught us so much about life and love.

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  3. If he's happy, that is a blessing. A life of self-pity would have destroyed him. His spirit survives, even if many things have been lost. May God bless you all.

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    1. GS...I don't think I could have bared it if the Marine pitied himself. By him not realizing anything is wrong has made this road we travel much easier. His spirit survives, his spirit is whole.

      Thank you....

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  4. Mamma Bear, As much as this story is very sad, you are absolutely right. As a mother of a son who is no longer with us on Earth, I can tell you that you are absolutely right that your beloved Marine is still there, and still giving and receiving your love !
    This said, I am so sorry that you and your family have had to endure this. If this is the schoolyard, then I am certainly looking forward to graduation ! Love to all your family. (Tears)

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    1. Jane...We are so looking forward to graduation as well. When I read stories such as yours who have lost a child, I feel so fortunate to still have my son even if he is just a shadow of his former self. It just doesn't seem right for a parent to have to say goodbye to a child and I am thankful this is something I have not have to face.

      Much love to you and your family too!

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  5. I am quite sure our government officials receive much better medical care than we have in the past and I am certain that will remain under Obama Care.

    After John Kerry just wrote a blank check to Syria I see he is signing antoher one for Egypt. Government has a different budget and checking account than us regular folk also.

    Take care and hugs all around you house for all you do.

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    1. Obama Care really scares me...Not for myself, the Marine. I am afraid more and more of his care will eventually be denied. We are stockpiling all we can in anticipation of his needs..at least we had a little help in that department from a doctor we felt we could talk candidly to.

      It just blows my mind how much we can give the world for their military when our guys aren't even being treated fairly.

      Thanks for the hugs... They are much appreciated.

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  6. A sad event. A sad state we have come to.

    I don't drink. Haven't in many many years and I therefore have little tolerance for those who do drink and drive so I usually hold my tongue on such subjects.

    Just sad.

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    1. PP..It is a sad place our world has become. Everything is just backwards for lack of better words.

      I will have an occasional beer or glass of wine but it is never when I will have to drive. I still have family members who know the shape my son is in and still get behind the wheel after drinking. That is like a slap in the face to me. I don't know how some live with themselves.

      Thank you for being here today...

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  7. Mama Bear,
    This is so heartbreaking and it makes me so angry that you were treated like that. Our government cares only for power. They have no thought for anything or anyone else.
    I am so, so sorry.

    God Bless,
    Red

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    1. Red...thank you for being here today.

      I have absolutely given up on our government ever doing the right thing. We are totally relying on God to lead us in whatever needs to be done. One day many people are going to have to answer to what was done to His children.

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  8. That is so heartbreaking to hear his story. It isn't fair how our government takes care of their people better than our veterans! Bless his heart that he doesn't know anything is wrong with him. I'm sure that does make it easier but that still isn't an easy thing to have happen to anyone you love. I'm so sorry that this happened to your son.

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    1. Angela....thanks so much for your kind words. We really appreciate them. I know one day, although not in this world (without a miracle) my son will walk and run again and be a perfect creature in our Fathers eyes. That's reason enough to pick me up and put a smile on my face when things start getting to me.

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  9. Unfortunately I have read other stories that parallel the treatment your son received. Truly a shame to our nation and I am so sorry. Indeed it is a blessing that he is alive and all of you can continue to love one another. Hugs to you both. Your family is so precious and I always look forward to your posts although I seldom comment. (Shame on me)

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    1. Thank you so much for commenting today. I read a lot of blogs too and don't always comment. We are almost as shut in as our Marine and talking with all of you makes me feel I have an entire circle of supporting friends.

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  10. Mamma - i just can't find the words for what i want to say but i know that you know how i really feel about The Marine and all that you and Papa have been through.

    His spirit is whole and you and Papa are wonderful parents. i will never forget The Marine in my prayers. hugs from me to all of you.

    your friend,
    kymber
    (p.s. - i love his beautiful smile. his being able to smile like that is a testament to his parents' love)

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    1. kymber...I know what is in your heart and I thank you. We know we have loving friends we will probably never meet in this life but we feel the prayers.

      Thank you my sweet most northern friend...

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  11. What a twinkle in those eyes! So sorry this ever happened. What a super strong woman you are. But, a mother's love is a love without end.

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    1. DFW...Sometimes with that twinkle in his eye I catch a glimpse of the Marine before the wreck. I am so proud to be this warriors Mamma! Thank you so much for your kindness.

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  12. I dont believe I have ever commented on your blog before, but this touched my heart. I truely believe Gods plans are always best, even though we may not have any idea of the whys, it always works out. I know God knows his purpose for The Marine, and who knows, when you see that twinkle, the glimpse of The Marine before, maybe he is letting you know that he knows Gods purpose for for himself. I know for the daily stuff it may seem as though you are cartaker for The Marine, but I wouldnt doubt if The Marine is doing his fair share of caretaking in a entirely different way. God Bless, and please thank The Marine for his service, from a family in Florida.

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    1. Hi Misty...Thanks for commenting with your sweet words of comfort. Our Marine is very special to us and yes he gives to those all around him more than he knows.

      PS...We live in NW Florida!..Nice to "meet" another Floridian!

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  13. For some reason, I am not getting your blog updates on my reading list... I need to fix that.

    Wow! I always wondered about him, and his story. Now i sort of know.
    He is so amazing and so are all of you. I know God has a very special place in heaven for you, papa bear and your marine.
    What an inspiration you are all....

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    1. Thank you so much Glock Mom...We have a very strong belief that family is supposed to take care of family if at all possible. We have been very fortunate to be able to do this most rewarding labor of love.

      Blogger has been crazy for me for about 2 weeks now. I am not getting some updates and sometimes on my reading list there will just be one blog with their messages for about 2 months. Pictures won't upload at times and at times the post gives an error message that it has not been saved. But it is still free, tight?

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